Corona all over the place…

It’s been a while since I last wrote anything on this blog – the kid is older and my life is significantly different than it was. But I just felt the need to take some time by myself and maybe just write a little bit about being at home and trying to adhere to all the advice from the government, for the sixth day in a row.

 

What have I learned so far?

First of all that we do not pay our childcarers enough. Trying to entertain a 4 year old, gets more and more straining for each day, and I am the lucky one, because of my health situation, we incorporate breaks for me away from her, my significant other does not get those.

Also I am trying to figure out how serious the situation is. Is it serious as in we should stay at home and only see ourselves at all times, or serious as we can let our child play with the neighbours children once in a while? I am not sure, and ends up doing a little bit of both depending on the day and my mood. And it is such a bliss if she can play with other kids for just a few hours, where it is not me and my partner that needs to entertain her. So far, that bliss wins out every once in a while, to the more serious, let’s all stay alone at all times thinking.   

 

I also spend quite a lot of time worrying. Both about the entire world and this coronavirus thing, but also worrying about my small world. What if my partner gets really sick from the virus and has to go to the hospital. I cannot handle our kid alone, my mental health condition will not allow that to go well. What if I get sick, what if my grandmothers get sick, they’re not young anymore. What if, what if, what if… It is turning into its own daily mental exercise to stop the spiraling thoughts from continuing on and on and on. My anxiety and schizophrenia really feeds off this situation, in a not great way. But so far I have everything under control, and I try to keep it that way.   

 

On a positive note, I do not mind the staying at home part, I was already doing that, and doing that well, and I really like our home, and like being home. I know that’s not the popular opinion but I really like it and find it quite relaxing to be around my own stuff. 

 

I also really like playing games with my kid. She loves her games, and the only wish I could have, is that we had even more games for her to play. I especially like playing Co-Op games (Cooperative games where either you all win together or you all lose to the game), both in general, and with her. It is so much fun to see her take pride in the shared victories we have in the games, and see her getting better and better at planning what we need to do, to get to the win. And she does get better. From the first time we played “My First Castle Panic” til now, she has really evolved in her thinking and her strategizing. Yes it is strategizing on a 4 year old level, but still, it is amazing and fun to watch.

 

Today we went for a walk to a playground, to get the little one outside, and so the rest of us could get some fresh air. And it was so quiet. There were people and cars, but not nearly as many as there used to be. It was really weird, almost feeling like we were the only people outside for a little while. But there was another child and their mother at the playground. It was really difficult to get the little one to understand that she has to practice distance from the other kid, and not run to him to play. She does not understand this distance policy at all. And why should she? She has always been able to be near other kids and play with them if they wanted to, and now she can’t?

But we got her to keep her distance, so everything went alright.

 

I think that’s all I got right now, but maybe I’ll return some other day, to tell more about my experience with the coronavirus….

 

– Gro, the hipster

My head is a prison…

I am at work. And I am not working. It feels like I have something crawling under my skin. Something deeply uncomfortable. I know what it is. It is anxiety. I have been struggling with anxiety for a long time now. At least it feels like a long time. It is not much more than a year. I have things I need to do, things that have a deadline today. But I just cannot do them. I try, but I do not get anywhere. Just the thought that I need to start doing something work-related makes me want to cry. My breathing gets faster and shallower. My eyes start prickling and I start looking around my small work area for a safe way to get out. To get away.

 

Then I start reading, or looking at facebook, while looking around to see if anybody have discovered that I am not working. But usually no one notice.

 

Then the beating starts, the beating I give myself in my head. You need to finish this, you need to do this, you have to pull yourself together… Come on, do not be a lazy arse. It goes on and on, until it gets to a point where I can almost look at myself beating myself up. Just observing all the negative thoughts, and my weaker self, trying to answer the accusations. And I watch myself failing, and falling – but I cannot stop it.

 

And when I get back to reality, I am still at work, and I still have things to do. And then the cycle can start all over again.

 

I know the cycle will start again, even before it does. But I do not know how to not let it happen. I can just passively watch as the whole thing starts over again, while a little part of me observes it and wonders, if this will be the last time. But it never is. It never is.

 

I am writing this, instead of working. It gives me a small break from the cycles. Because writing about it, does not have a part in the cycle. But I can feel that the nauseous feeling in my throat is coming back, and my heart is beating faster… So, this is only working for a short while. Before I have to go back to being a prisoner of my own behaviour.

 

I hate being a prisoner. I love and highly treasures rational thought. I have always thought was one of my strong points. And now I am being imprisoned by my own irrational thought spirals. I HATE IT.

 

Well, it is time to go back to the prison…

 

 

A Hipster’s Guide to…: The Eurovision Song Contest

Yes, the title almost seems like a contradiction on its own… But, life is simply too short to look down your nose at the Eurovision. It is filled with clichés, people in too colourful clothes, singing more or less empty pop music. I know all this. But I still try to make sure that I have nothing on schedule when the time comes around for the Eurovision.

But, why, you may ask (and if you do not – then really you should)?

It is because the Eurovision do not mind what you make of it. If you sit through the whole thing sneering at the whole show, ironizing over the blatantly bad English conversions of the different songs etc. As longas you watch it.

It is one of those shows, that just is so fun and happy, that even if you just go along with the ride, then it’s bound to be fun. I spend way too many years looking down my nose, at something that is always a really fun night with my boyfriend (and sometimes his kids).

So, please, give it a go, if you have nothing better to do tomorrow night… watch the Eurovision.

So – let’s say I have convinced you, you need to watch the Eurovision. What do you need to do to make the experience the best possible?

 

Well for one, it is more fun if you are at least one other (it is still fun if you watch it alone, but it is one of those things that only gets better if you are more). So when you have found someone to watch it with, you need to do a bit of planning.

 

Firstly you need snacks. Snacks are important, they will keep you through the show (it is a pretty long show), so you do not go hungry 😉 What snacks you want are optional. You could go with anything you like, or maybe do some really old fashion tacky stuff, that fits with the theme (we have some years had what in Danish is called “Citron mane” (Citrus Moon), a basically very very sweet dryish cake that is usually served by really old people). This year since we are trying to be healthy-ish, it will be strawberries, muffins, carrot and cucumber sticks and maybe something we haven’t figured out yet. But whatever makes you happy will work.

Then you need drinks – if you drink alcohol, then go for anything that feels nice and silly – like fizzy wine, drinks, or anything of that ilk. This year we will be drinking elderflower, white wine and sparkling water mixed up – or something like that – but we have done fizzy wine, and elaborate drinks before that.

You also need a voting ballot. Usually you can print one out from the endless resources of the internet, but otherwise just make your own. Discuss in advance the criteria you use for ranking each song, and try to stick to them. You can make up any criterion you want, like best hair, nicest stage show, or even go with the oldie but goodie, least horrible music. Or mix them all up. But just do not take it too serious. It is not going to be some of the best music you have ever heard, so give them a break. Also remember to make a scale – in our house we mix the criteria with everything from – love the shirt, to never heard a musical instrument used like that, and we use a scale of 1-10.

You could also just arbitrary decide to root for some country, without having heard their song beforehand. I usually root just a little bit for Azerbaijan, if not for anything, then because it just sound fun and exciting to shout their country’s name out loud.

You might also want to do “Bingo”. If that is the case, either find some ideas from the net, or make you your own. It could be with things like “Really high hair”, “Guy with open shirt”, “Really LARGE discoball”, “Folksy instruments” or other stuff that you think you usually sees at Eurovision.

Second to last, you need to use twitter. Twitter will blow up with people and celebrities commenting on everything from the songs, to the clothes, to what the hosts are talking about – and it is really fun, to have Twitter as a sort of background noise on your Eurovision evening.

 

The last thing you need is an ability to have fun with it. It is okay to sneer a bit, and to have loads of hipster ironic distance to the whole thing, as long as you still enjoy the evening. So go with it – have fun.

Ohh, and as a last note, if you do not want to (or cannot) watch your countrys local broadcast, then the whole thing is streamed live, from Eurovisions own youtube channel – very hipster approved – and it means there is no excuse not to watch it.

 

Good luck with the Eurovision tomorrow.

 

-The Hipster

A hipster’s guide to…: A playlist for board games

 

My boyfriend asked me after I made my top ten board games: “What songs or soundtracks do you then think fits with the games?”. I had actually no clue, but I did try to find out, and  now I am listing them here, as a top ten to go with my ten favourite games.

 

1. R.E.M. – It’s the end of the world as we know it (And I feel fine) for Pandemic Legacy

This one almost wrote it self. We often hummed the chorus while playing through Pandemic Legacy, so this was pretty much a given. Because every game feels like it is at the brink of the end of the world, and especially the end of the world, as we knew it, because everything we knew was constantly changing.

 

2. Blue Foundation – History (and the rest of the Sweep of Days album) for T.I.M.E Stories

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egBgO-w8u0M&list=PL6BB4EC841AC7D39A

This is the first song on the Sweep of Days album from Blue Foundation, and it is almost an introduction to the next song. The whole album has a nice feel for T.I.M.E Stories, but History makes an amazing introduction to playing the game, with the lines “History is just beginning”. This sets the theme nicely for playing through a scenario of T.I.M.E Stories.

 

3. Passenger – Fear of Fear (and the rest of the Whispers II album) Robinson Crusoe

It goes without saying that most of the songs on here, are songs I like, because why would I hear songs that I do not like, when playing my favourite games?

But I feel that Passengers Album Whispers II fits the bill really well. It has a certain melancholy to it, and feels like an album about feeling that things just keep going “not quite right”. And this is exactly how it feels to play Robinson Crusoe. And Fear of Fear impersonate this feeling, with lines like “Fill my nights with bad jokes, told by folk full of fear” – which is how it feels when you get to the night time in a game of Robinson Crusoe.

 

4. The Traits – Nobody loves the Hulk for Marvel Legendary

This was really a hard one. The only song I remembered that had even a thin superheroes theme was Three Doors Downs Kryptonite. And it seemed like a bit of a cheat, just using that one because that was the only one I could remember. So I started looking around, and finally found this little amazing piece of music. It has the right hectic feel for Marvel Legendary, and also because it is about how nobody loves the Hulk, it works pretty neatly, since Hulk is one of the few characters in Marvel Legendary, that will hurt other players, to make more damage.

5. Guns’n’Roses – Civil War for The Grizzled

“…What we got here – Is failure to communicate”. It just says it all. It is the reason most The Grizzled games are lost. Failure to communicate. And the whole song has this feel of its more about surviving than it is about winning. I know it is about a Civil War and not World War 1, but the feeling is just right. And it is one of the few Guns’n’Roses tracks I just love, even Axl’s normally annoying way to sing, just works with this song.

 

6. Outlandish – the Album Warrior/Worrier for Five Tribes

This album, this song, and the band in general; is just a perfect analogy for Five Tribes. Outlandish is great pop music, with a thin middle eastern flavour on top. Just the same as Five Tribes, a great popular game, with a thin middle eastern theme pasted on top. So these just pair really well together, both in theory, but also in reality, where the tones of Outlandish fits this light hearted board game really well.

 

7. The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou soundtrack (Seu Jorges Life on Mars) for Dixit

Listening to The Life Aquatic soundtrack, and specially Seu Jorges different renditions of David Bowie songs, feels a bit like playing Dixit. You have a feeling that you know what picture fits the idea, but when you look closer, it really is just you playing a hunch, since the picture could mean anything. If you listen to Seu Jorges David Bowie songs, you sort of know you are listening to a David Bowie song, but if you try to sing along, the words just will not fit, and for non-Portuguese speakers, the songs is utter nonsense, as soon as you actually listen to the words. Ohh and have you not yet watched The Life Aquatic by Wes Anderson yet – go watch it – Now… I mean it, it is such a special movie, that you should not miss it.

 

8. Stevie Wonder/RHCP – Higher ground for Pandemic

This was a bit difficult, because I had already found a track for Pandemic Legacy, but then I remembered this old classic, that I have usually heard with Red Hot Chili Peppers, but you get here in the original Stevie Wonder version. If a song that has the lyrics:

“Powers keep on lyin’

While your people keep on dyin’

World keep on turnin’

Cause it won’t be too long”

Does not scream Pandemic, I do not know what does. And also it has a nice funky feel to it, that works well with playing a friendly game of Pandemic with the family.

 

9. Mew – Comforting Sounds (or the entire Half the World is Watching me album) for Onirim

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jej__CepHWU

To me Mew makes beautiful music, that has some of the weirdest lyrics I have ever encountered. In my head the lyrics sounds like weird dreams that makes no sense outside of a perhaps dark dream world. All this makes it a perfect fit for Onirim. A beautiful game with a theme about dreaming about doors, and sometimes encountering nightmares. And a song, with the lyric:”I don’t feel alright, despite all the comforting sounds you make…” just fits with how you often feel in a game of Onirim.

 

10. Imagine Dragons – Warriors for Xenoshyft: Onslaught

After choosing this song, I found out that this song apparently also has been adopted by League of Legends, but this actually just makes it even clearer why I chose this song.

Xenoshyft as a game is just hands on combat, with creatures just keeping on coming and coming, in a never ending journey towards doom. And it is up to you, the soldiers, to keep your base intact. And this song just hits the spot. With its lyrics about being warriors that built this town, and the heavy guitar riffs, it is a perfect match for Xenoshyfts feel and theme.

 

So let me know what you listen to, when you play board games 😉

-The Hipster

A Hipster’s guide to…: The gaming style profile

My boyfriend sent me to the secret cabals site, because they were discussing something called a gaming style profile, that originally is used for video games, but they seemed to think that it could also be used for board gaming. So I took the test to see what all the fuss was about, and listened to the podcast they made about it.

You can take the test here:

https://apps.quanticfoundry.com/lab/10#

You can find the Secret Cabal podcast here:

http://www.thesecretcabal.com/

 

I thought it was difficult to fill it out, because since I am also a video gamer, trying to answer to in accordance with my videogame preferences but board game preferences were almost impossible. But I tried to answer the questionnaire in regards to both things, since some of the questions did not relate all that well to board games. So where did I end, and do I think it can be related to my board game tastes?

 

My test results

The test asks you some questions related to their 6 different motivation groups. These 6 motivation groups have they then split in to 2 subcategories. So you end up with a percentage for each subcategory, and a percentage for each motivation group. The questions is mostly you answering how much you enjoy certain aspects of video gaming, and from these answers your percentage shows up. The percentage is related to other people who have taken the test – so a percentage of 15 percent means that 85 % of the people who took the test likes this aspect more than me.

So what where my percentages?

Immersion 82% (Fantasy 77%, Story 81%)

Action 1% (Destruction 2%, Excitement 2%)

Social 46% (Competition 8 %, Community 91 %)

Mastery 3% (Challenge 1%, Strategy 19%)

Achievement 36% (Completion 42%, Power 36%)

Creativity 52% (Discovery 49%, Design 52%)

 

It also gave me a name for my profile: Calm, Spontaneous, Gregarious, and Deeply Immersed

First I will say that this fits pretty well with my video gaming style. I absolutely abhor first person shooters, and will actually stop playing a game if it starts having a lot of action sequences where I have to make quick decisions and use lots of button mashing. I am not sure that the mastery percentage is accurate though. I do not mind challenge, as long as it is me competing against myself. But there is some truth in that I hate being stuck for too long because I do not have the skills it takes to move on in the game. So I only like so much challenge.

But does it work for how I like my board games?

Well, it does, sort of. It has accurately accounted for my like for co-op games, but it has confused my hatred of losing, as I dislike competition. I do not dislike competition; I just really REALLY hate losing. This is because I am what you could call a sore loser. And I hate that about myself, to a point where I am embarrassed by my own behavior, when I lose a game, so I tend to avoid situations where I may end up losing in something or in a way that triggers this behavioral flaw. And I have come to the conclusion that a great many board games make me a sore loser. If I have spent too much time and effort on the game, and then loses, especially if I lose because of the game’s “take that” mechanics, this behavior will surface, if I am not very careful (and sometimes even if I am careful). So the liking social (co-op games) and disliking competition is correct, but only because of my own failings.

The immersion part also fits on board games. I like a game with a good theme that I can get involved in. This is also why I loved Pandemic Legacy, where you really felt like you tried to save the world. But I also like games that are less immersive. I have spent countless hours playing games like Love Letter, Five Tribes and Shanghaien where the theme is barely there. But all in all, I seem to be more attracted to games that lets me immerse myself in the theme and the story.

If you call my dislike of action, a dislike of board games that have real time element and strong take that mechanics, then it also seems to fit pretty neatly with my taste in games. Though I will say that I really enjoy games like Mission Red Planet that has quite a strong take that mechanic (but one of the designers of that game is Bruno Cathala, and I seem to like everything he touches – so that might be the reason I like that game).

The mastery percentage might fit, depending on how you look at it. I actually dislike games that are very random, I like some randomness, but games like munchkin or say UNO, really annoys me, because it seems like no matter what I do, I have no control over what happens. That being said, I am not good at playing games that I will lose over and over again to more experienced players, because I am not good at the game. This will at some point make me dislike the game, because it seems that I have no chance of winning, without losing 10+ times first, to learn how to play the game. I do not mind that I will lose my first or second game because I am inexperienced, but if it is to many, I will usually just stop playing it. So my tolerance for how much time it should take to master a game is probably pretty low. And the low, but not as low percentage in strategy, accurately shows that I like some strategy, but that I do not like the game if the strategy is so involved that it takes years to master.

I am not sure how the achievement category fits in with board games, in that I think most board games do not have them. But in the ones that have, it seems to fit pretty well. I have serious problems with doing everything in T.I.M.E stories within the timeframe, because I want to be sure we have found everything there is to find, but in the same time I know my score will be affected if I use to much time. And I seem to care enough about my score to want to do well there even though it only affects the game in minor ways moving forward. But then in games like Robinson Crusoe, even though the scenario cards lets you record your scores, I have never done it because it does not interest me at all. And it seems from the score that I am more interested in getting powerful things for myself, than in completion points. And this is correct – I will rather use more time to get more stuff, and then let my achievement score at the end suffer a little.

The last percentage about creativity fits pretty good. It fits pretty perfectly on video gaming, since I love games like Minecraft, but prefers to play it in creative mode, where I can just discover everything without being too scared of dying if I am caught at night down a mineshaft or similar.

But it also fits on board games. Again if there is something to discover, I want to discover it. And interesting design, also intrigues me. And I like designs where the way to victory can be many different paths. It makes me feel like no matter what I chose to do, I still have a chance to win.

 

All in all, it fits pretty well, and may help me (and others) getting a more precise idea about what games we like, and why. Both in a video game and a board game context.