It’s been a while since I last wrote anything on this blog – the kid is older and my life is significantly different than it was. But I just felt the need to take some time by myself and maybe just write a little bit about being at home and trying to adhere to all the advice from the government, for the sixth day in a row.
What have I learned so far?
First of all that we do not pay our childcarers enough. Trying to entertain a 4 year old, gets more and more straining for each day, and I am the lucky one, because of my health situation, we incorporate breaks for me away from her, my significant other does not get those.
Also I am trying to figure out how serious the situation is. Is it serious as in we should stay at home and only see ourselves at all times, or serious as we can let our child play with the neighbours children once in a while? I am not sure, and ends up doing a little bit of both depending on the day and my mood. And it is such a bliss if she can play with other kids for just a few hours, where it is not me and my partner that needs to entertain her. So far, that bliss wins out every once in a while, to the more serious, let’s all stay alone at all times thinking.
I also spend quite a lot of time worrying. Both about the entire world and this coronavirus thing, but also worrying about my small world. What if my partner gets really sick from the virus and has to go to the hospital. I cannot handle our kid alone, my mental health condition will not allow that to go well. What if I get sick, what if my grandmothers get sick, they’re not young anymore. What if, what if, what if… It is turning into its own daily mental exercise to stop the spiraling thoughts from continuing on and on and on. My anxiety and schizophrenia really feeds off this situation, in a not great way. But so far I have everything under control, and I try to keep it that way.
On a positive note, I do not mind the staying at home part, I was already doing that, and doing that well, and I really like our home, and like being home. I know that’s not the popular opinion but I really like it and find it quite relaxing to be around my own stuff.
I also really like playing games with my kid. She loves her games, and the only wish I could have, is that we had even more games for her to play. I especially like playing Co-Op games (Cooperative games where either you all win together or you all lose to the game), both in general, and with her. It is so much fun to see her take pride in the shared victories we have in the games, and see her getting better and better at planning what we need to do, to get to the win. And she does get better. From the first time we played “My First Castle Panic” til now, she has really evolved in her thinking and her strategizing. Yes it is strategizing on a 4 year old level, but still, it is amazing and fun to watch.
Today we went for a walk to a playground, to get the little one outside, and so the rest of us could get some fresh air. And it was so quiet. There were people and cars, but not nearly as many as there used to be. It was really weird, almost feeling like we were the only people outside for a little while. But there was another child and their mother at the playground. It was really difficult to get the little one to understand that she has to practice distance from the other kid, and not run to him to play. She does not understand this distance policy at all. And why should she? She has always been able to be near other kids and play with them if they wanted to, and now she can’t?
But we got her to keep her distance, so everything went alright.
I think that’s all I got right now, but maybe I’ll return some other day, to tell more about my experience with the coronavirus….
– Gro, the hipster
A Hipster's Guide to the Galaxy... 